Trance Formations

I want to talk to you about beliefs. Specifically about the beliefs about ourselves, our capabilities, and just how changing those beliefs can change our lives.

I want to tell you about two people. These are real people, and real stories, not simply metaphors (though they both serve that function too).

The first is my wife, Sian. Now, I probably think more of my wife than I do any other person (she married me, after all), but all her life, Sian has had a very low opinion of her own academic ability. She has believed she was “stupid” (her word, not mine), and indeed, the universe accordingly conspired to prove her right. She suffered a bereavement at the time of her major school exams and performed badly, and in every academic endeavour until recent years she has always managed to prove to herself that she is less clever than those around her.

Until recently that is. Sian is near the end of her second year of a Law degree. She has always been fascinated by Law and finally, through a lot of hard work and re-arrangement of our lives, she started a full time course at a local university. She is now consistently in the top 5% of academic achievers on her course. Five percent! For a woman who called herself “stupid” I consider that astounding.

Now, I wish I could take credit for that, but I can’t. Sian has found her passion. And in finding that passion, she has been able to step outside of her previous self defining limiting beliefs. As a consequence she has had to re-evaluate herself in all areas of her life, and redefine herself in a new, positive light.

The other person I wanted to write about is a colleague and a friend. This friend of mine is a businessman (he runs a training company) and a martial artist with three black belts in different martial arts who competes at national level. A few years ago he was diagnosed with a sarcoma located in the abdomen which was removed with invasive and dramatic surgery. He was advised that he would not be fit to compete again for 2 years, and that he should expect never to regain his previous level of fitness (way to implant a suggestion!).

His first response was to ask his consultant just what he could do. The consultant said “Nothing”.

“Nothing?” said my friend.

“Well, you could walk” said the consultant.

“How far can I walk?”

“As far as you are able”.

My friend bought a pedometer. Hw walked a few hundred steps the first day. A few more the next, and so on.

He took a lot of vitamin and nutritional body building supplements. His dietician told him he was making very expensive urine for what might at best amount to a fraction of a percent improvement. My friend pointed out that, at the national levels he was used to competing at, that fraction of a percent made the difference between winning and losing.

Six months later, he was competing again, and not long after that at national level. He refused to be confined by the limiting beliefs that others (with all good intention) would put upon him.

Again the credit lies with his passion. And this is the message I have for you this month. Joy in life, passion, is your birthright. People tell me how lucky I am to have such a good life, and, yes, I do count my blessings. But it is not luck. Every decision I make, every choice, is based on the assumption, the premise, that joy in life is the birthright of us all, and I will act continually to ensure that there is always more of it to go round. I would invite you to do the same.